what I could better on my next draft/ what I liked

I really didn't see any glaring problems with my draft. If I had to point out any thing that I would change I would probably try to make my essay a little more concise. I told the story of my life and in order to effectively do so I had to address all of it thoroughly. In doing that I lost any one particular focus, I poured out my heart on to this assignment and I liked that I could finally talk every thing that has happened to me in my life. It is a major relief to tell my story. This deep sorrow has kept me from opening up the way that I've have wanted to so in writing this essay a major weight has been lifted off of my chest.